Let Me Tell You That I Love You

Posted by zeno on August 6, 2009

There are a million signs and signals, if only you look. Very few people can mask their true feelings well enough to avoid discovery. I know. I can tell what you are thinking. I can always tell what you are thinking, even when you don’t realise when you are thinking.

I’m not a mind reader; I just notice things, little items that other people gloss over and ignore. I notice small changes in posture, in vocal tautness, in skin colour. I notice changes in surface temperature and in smell. Really tiny changes.

Perhaps the ability to see like that is common, perhaps what is uncommon is being able to read the changes, to analyse and interpret. But I know what the changes mean. Always.

And I am always right. I know when you are angry or frustrated. I know when you don’t like me or when you want to get close to me; when you need to be held and when you need solitude. I know when poetry is touching your soul and I know when nothing short of physical assault will change your mind.

So never imagine I am anything less than intent. Don’t for a second believe I am not aware of your presence in the world, near or far. My senses are so attuned to yours that I would feel a sigh at ten thousand miles.

I know what you are thinking, believe me.

Arses Tomorrow, Perhaps.

Posted by zeno on August 5, 2009

Life goes on, the world turns and day slowly overcomes night.

In my little corner of existence life seems pleasingly mellow, yet, when there are no ripples or sub-surface currents, my mind has developed two basic ways of responding to the various tomorrows that could appear.

Half the time I worry that something big and black and overwhelming is lurking around the corner and I worry that somehow the delivery notes got mixed up and I have someone else’s life, but they are going to want it back. Soon.

The other perpetual hum at the back of my unfashionably cluttered mind is a glorious, expectant excitement. An assurance that, as I take my next step, a huge bubble of wonderfulness is about to burst and shower me in joy and success and all things sparkly and golden.

I don’t always feel these things in a recognizable or describable way; only when I am not sufficiently distracted by the mechanics of actual living or the minutiae of the daily grind, but they underlie everything that is within me.

And so my responses are not always what people expect, suck it up.

But life does go on.